When Siblings Disagree on Senior Care

olderpeoplewalkingDear Kirsten:

My 77- year old mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease almost two years ago. My brother and I have tried everything to avoid moving her in to an assisted living community. We hired private aides to stay with her in her home, but she wandered away from one and was gone several hours before we found her. After that I tried moving her in with my family, but the same thing happened. We just can’t keep up with her! She seems to go for days without sleeping. 

Last month my brother and I visited six different assisted living communities with special memory care programs. The problem is that while we agree she needs to make this move, we can’t agree on which community is best for her. My brother is her durable power of attorney for financial, and I am one for her health care. I wondered if care managers help families with this decision? I’m worried that my brother and I will end up not speaking if this continues. Meanwhile, Mom is still living with me and we are struggling to keep her safe.

Andrea in Loveland, Colorado 

Dear Andrea:

Thank you for sharing your struggle. I’m sure just reading this will help other families who are trying to cope with a similar journey and feeling discouraged that there is dissent in the family. It is actually quite common in situations like this. Your mother is fortunate to have two children who are so dedicated to making the right decision on her behalf!

Wandering: A Common Symptom of Alzheimer's Disease

Wandering is one of the most common behaviors for those living with Alzheimer’s disease. As you have learned the hard way, it is also one of the most frightening. One thing you can do today is to enroll your mother in a program like the Alzheimer’s Association Comfort Zone. It allows you to monitor her location through a secure website and also to receive an alert if she wanders outside a safe zone you have set for her around your home. Making use of this type of technology will give you peace of mind while you and your brother determine her next step.

Senior Housing Transitions

In answer to your question, “yes” we do help families with senior housing transitions. We know and work with quality memory care providers in your area and can assist you in determining which one is the best fit for her needs. Then we can help you make a smooth transition. For someone living with memory loss, it is important to carefully plan for a change in environment.

Please call our office at your convenience at 970.204.6977 and we will be happy to arrange a time to talk more with you and your brother.

Best Regards,


From personal care needs and case management to guardianship concerns, Seniors in Transition provides consulting services to help families turn frustrating health care problems into quality, affordable solutions. Seniors in Transition is here to help families in the Fort Collins, CO and Loveland, CO areas. Give us a call at 970.204.6977 today.

Has your family ever disagreed on Senior Care? If so, please share how you handled the situation.  

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